Life as a Gift

I've been debating starting a new blog for while and for the most part I have wanted to, but have debated the time and effort of actually making it something to be worth reading. My goals are mostly for reflection and to gain insight from the input of those around me that I respect highly enough to put on the incredibly prestigious blogroll. Yet I give fair warning that there will likely be times where I resort to the cuteness factor of my daughters who bring out the best and worst in me (and the most comments).

In order to start a blog one must put their best foot forward, and in order to do that means I need to forgo original thought and simply restate someone else's much better words in a much worse way and claim it's impact on myself. Originality is overrated anyway.

As a closet Rob Bell fan I often listen to the Mars Hill teachings online. A recent teaching by the Rob man himself was focused on a couple of verses in Philippians 2. "Do everything without complaining or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe..." In his teaching he really delves into the meaning of the complaining/grumbling that was being talked about. This is the same Greek word (Gong Esmas) used about the Israelites who grumbled against God who had to continually remind them of their recent slavery. A rabbinic story is told of two Israelites who are only watching their feet as they running away from Egypt only to find themselves walking in a thick layer of mud. They complain about the mud as it sticks to their feet and gets on their clothes. As if running from the Egyptian army wasn't bad enough, now they have to trudge through layers mud and decayed algae. "Who left all of their yard waste here anyway? I swear some neighbors really suck. Oh my YHWH, is that fish crap? I HATE fish crap!" These two Israelites are obviously walking on the bottom of the sea, but they're only focused on their immediate surroundings and have failed to see the walls of water by their sides that are being held back by their deliverer. The mud on their feet would seem so petty if they would only look around and see that not only are things much better than they could have ever hoped for, but they will soon improve as they make it to the other side and their enemies are destroyed in the chase.

And then we think of the grumbling in our present situation... that everyone else is guilty of... not me. What jerks.

No seriously, I am as much if not more guilty than most about my grumbling. There are so many occasions where I could have been 100 times more satisfied if I had just let things go. Rob Bell went on to leave things on a more external situation note (i.e. traffic, kid's sports, work, etc..), but I mostly felt convicted about my feelings towards people in the church. Feelings of rejection, loneliness, petty disagreements, have many times taken the forefront of my thoughts all the while I've failed to notice the giant walls of water being held back as I'm delivered into grace. I think the rejection of grumbling is probably the acceptance and counting of gifts in my life. The grass gets greener and greener on this side when you think about how things could have been. I'm alive - gift. I'm married to an incredible wife who loves me - gift. My children are healthy - gift. I am able to work - gift. I've experienced, even in the briefest of moments, bits of heaven coming to Earth - gift. I get to blog - (well maybe its o.k. for me, not so good for you if you've read this far).

I've had many many plans in this life so far, and not many of them have come to fruition. I've had a lot of disappointments and a few nights of feeling like life wasn't worth so much, but when I start to look around at the waves being held back and the deliverance I am continually experiencing as my salvation is worked out, the mud stuck to my shoes doesn't seem so bad. So as I continue to trudge through the more mundane or disappointing parts of life I need to be reminded of the gifts freely given and know that I have all I need. I would like to be at a point someday of saying in all freedom, "I have all I need. Please pay attention to someone else, look after their needs. My life is full of gifts."